You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
