did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
