my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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