There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
