Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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