Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
