Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
