john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize