i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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