I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize