it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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