I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
