he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
