This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
