Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
