I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
