I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
