so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
