Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
