You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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