no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
