Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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