I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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