i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
