Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
