K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
