...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
