I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
