David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's always time for handjobs
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
