the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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