Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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