ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  Where you at

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.

  Fav 7 1025 2928

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

  Fav 48 3085 6385

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (260): View more from Indiana

  He went soft

  (631): View more from New York

  Wait. During?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

  Fav 99 1254 16397

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.

  Fav 38 5419 2364

  share tweet
  

• (289): View more from Ontario

  eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.

  Fav 8 3272 1520

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.

  Fav 8 3479 1203

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (209): View more from California

  His new job just became new places to have sex at.

  Fav 7 2006 783

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.

  Fav 4 1868 1007

  share tweet
  

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

  Fav 5 1123 1378

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

  Fav 10 1254 597

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented

  Fav 7 575 791

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.

  Fav 0 697 497

  share tweet
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.

  Fav 3 1167 524

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.

  Fav 32 614 1597

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

  Fav 2 454 1061

  share tweet
  

Randomize