Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
