I didn't shave. On purpose
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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