You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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