I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
