I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
