There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
