I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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