Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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