i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
