Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
