When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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