Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
