I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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