I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
