Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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