Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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