i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize