This girl is more easily done than said...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
