Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
