U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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