I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
