last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
