Heybabeimwearingurpanties
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
