Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
