i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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