Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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